Scram, Sue
by Yaya The Elf
Summary: Percy and the gang discover a Mary Sue at the camp borders... but this time, they're not letting her in.


_Disclaimer:_

_I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the Heroes of Olympus or any of it's original characters. I also do not own "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way" (nor do I want to) or any of the Mean Girls quotes you may recognize.  
_

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Scram, Sue

I awaken to screaming.

Not just any screaming, _Annabeth's _screaming. The type of yell she uses when she's beyond angry or upset, the type she uses when you know you've messed up seriously bad. When I was little, whenever she yelled at me like that, I would pee my pants and run for the hills, afraid I was going to get hit. Annabeth hardly ever yells like that anymore, and when she does, boy, do you know you're in trouble.

I decide to let Annabeth sort this one out so I can go back to sleep, but when Tyson runs into the cabin crying; I know it's worse than usual.

"Percy!" he says. "There's a lady trying to cross the border! She won't leave!"

"Lady?" I repeat. "You mean a mortal?"

"Not sure!" he says. "Please, come help!"

Before I can protest or even put some regular day clothes on, Tyson grabs my arm and yanks me out of the cabin, forcing me over to the camp border. There I see (and definitely hear) Annabeth yelling at a strange and sickly pretty girl. The girl's hair is straight black with pink streaks, reaching the floor, and her eyes are so blue it's painful to look at. Her clothing is so trendy it looks like a teen magazine barfed on her, and her skin looks like a Van Gogh painting; her paper white skin is covered with carefully layered, bright makeup. The weirdest parts of her are the angel wings on her back and the pink kittens that float around her. She looks like Aphrodite decided to create a monster… and this was the result.

"Who or _what _is that?" I exclaim.

"_This," _Annabeth growls, gesturing towards the freakish girl. "Is some punk that won't leave us alone!" Annabeth then faces the girl again, yelling in her face, "GO AWAY. WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE."

"Wait just a second," I say, stepping in between Annabeth and the girl. "Let's not just jump to conclusions. Tyson, you wake up the rest of camp and get Chiron." I face the strange girl, whose face is equally grotesquely beautiful up close. "May I ask, who are you?"

"Hi!" she chirps, giving me a blinding white smile that may cause me to need glasses in the future. "My name is Raven-Tiara Candle'flame Crimson! And I'm the daughter of Artemis… I've even been claimed! I just need to stay here at Camp Half-Blood because I attract so many monsters with my awesomeness, and even though I could totally keep them away with my awesome fighting skills, I need to stay here to be safe and fall in love and go on a quest and totally save the day!"

I fight the urge to barf at her perfect-ness as some of the campers come out of their cabins, mumbling to themselves. The Roman campers that are staying over for strategy plans are the crankiest, yelling in Latin.

"What now?!" Reyna yells. "Let me guess, we got another demigod with amnesia. But wait! It turns out they're actually from the Egyptian camp!"

"Calm down," I say. "It's just a Greek half-blood."

"Yes," Annabeth says. "She claims that she's the daughter of Artemis… and she WON'T LEAVE."

"That doesn't make any sense," Drew says, rubbing her eyes. "Artemis is maiden goddess."

"Exactly!" Annabeth exclaims. "This girl is obviously a monster of some sort! She put a spell on the dragon or something… it won't attack her!"

"Where's Chiron?" Grover wonders out loud.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Chiron calls, galloping up the hill.

"Yea, people," Leo says. "Hold your horses!" He gives us that look of when he's made a bad joke and we all know it, but he still expects us to laugh anyway. Chiron gives Leo a glare so harsh Leo actually slaps himself from the fear.

"Sorry," Leo whimpers, backing away. "Bad joke…"

"Anyway," Chiron shakes his head, directing his attention to Annabeth and me. "What's the problem?"

"This chick 'Raven-Tiara' whatever the heck her name is," Annabeth shouts angrily. "Won't leave us alone!"

"We think she's a monster," I explain.

"Why is that?" Chiron asks, raising an eyebrow. And then he sees Raven-Tiara. "Oh."

"Exactly!" Annabeth says. "She's been here all night, and I've done everything to get her away! But she's too fantastic."

"It's true!" Raven-Tiara grins ear to ear, causing the whole camp to call out in pain and cover their eyes. Grover and Leo actually faint.

"Oh, gods," Chiron says in hushed horror. "It can't be. Not this. Not now."

"What is it?" I ask, suddenly scared.

"I've seen this before," Chiron says. "But I never thought…"

"You've SEEN this before?!" Octavian yells. "How on Olympus has there ever been something as disturbing as this BEFORE?"

"This is no normal demigod," Chiron says. Then he looks at Raven-Tiara, and carefully asks, "Miss, can you please give me your name?"

"Sure!" she gives us another one of her blinding white smiles. Someone from the Apollo cabin screams, "GET THE SUNGLASSES! HURRY!"

"My name is Raven-Tiara Candle'flame Crimson!" she says, like, totally.

"Oh, gods…" Chiron says, gagging as if he is about to throw up from the horror. "No… no… please…" He sighs, and, as the Apollo campers hand out sunglasses, he asks Raven-Tiara, "My dear, can you give us your back story?"

"Of course!" she smiles again. "Okay, so, like, I was born 16-ish years ago… so I'm, like, 16, right? And my mother was Artemis, but left me when I was born with my terrible, evil father. He would always beat me and call me mean names because I was just oh so awesome. Then he married my stepmother, who was even crueler, and they had evil little children together. They were just SO mean to me! I like, couldn't stand it! I had to wash the floors and cook the meals and EVERYTHING. Ugh! I even broke a NAIL few times. I know, right? Anyway, my daddy came home drunk one night, and beat me bloody. Then my step-mom got mad at me because I got blood on her slippers, so they kicked me out of the house. I was so scared, I was, like, alone on the streets! I would always attract monsters, but I would totally kick their butts because I'm just oh so awesome. But, I have scars, though! They don't make me look ugly, though. How terrible would THAT be? Anyways, then I joined the Hunters of Artemis, and since she was my mom and all, she claimed me and told me that I didn't have to swear off boys. But then I got kicked out of the club because the other hunters, especially Thalia, hated me. So my mom guided me here, where I'm supposed to meet my destiny! Which is save the world, kick monster butt, marry Percy Jackson and then become an Olympian god!"

Chiron looks at her with horror, almost as if he were about to pass out. I have to keep Annabeth back so she won't strangle the girl for saying that she has to marry me.

"Oh, no!" Chiron finally exclaims. "It can't be! WHY?!"

"What is it?" Hazel asks gently.

"This girl," Chiron says. "She is no ordinary demigod. It's something I thought I would never see again… but, alas, it has happened once again. This girl is something called a 'Mary Sue'… an overly perfect demigod. They're life ruiners. They ruin people's lives."

"How so?" Frank asks, concerned.

"Mary Sues destroy everything," Chiron says. "They tear everything apart. And when I say everything, I mean everything. They ruin people's relationships, they use mind control the make people act completely different, and cause the world to go into chaos. They don't mean to, they're simply just too amazing. They are fabulous, but they are evil."

The camp gasps with horror and fear of the strange yet amazing girl in front of them.

"Leave now!" Chiron screams at Raven-Tiara. "You are not needed here! We already have a Mary Sue, one named Piper!"

"Wait, what?" Piper says.

"Please, go!" Chiron yells, and others start joining in, chanting, "LEAVE NOW! NEVER COME BACK! LEAVE NOW!"

Raven-Tiara starts protesting, claiming that this wasn't supposed to happen, but she is drowned out by the voices of at least a hundred demigods screaming at her to leave. Finally, she stomps her foot, causing us all to stop yelling.

"Fine!" she yells angrily. "Be that way! I don't need you losers! I'm Raven-Tiara Candle-flame Crimson! I'll just go find some other universe to destroy!" Turning on her heel, she stomps away with a huff, and the camp cheers.

"WAY TO GO, EVERYONE!" Chiron yells happily. "PARTY TIME!"

We all start to dance in celebration. All goes well until another grotesquely amazing figure appears.

"Hi!" the girl says, this one more goth than the last. "My name is Ebony 'Enoby' Dark'ness Dementia Raven/Tara Way! I was kicked out of the _Harry Potter _universe, but I'm sure we're all going to have a totally goffic time here!"

We all scream in horror.


End file.
